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Outback Steakhouse, Ribeye, Fine Dining Podcast
Buffalo Wild Wings Hatch Burger Fine Dining Podcast
Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Key Lime Pie, Fine Dining
Fine Dining Podcast Bubba Gump Shrimp Company
The Old Spaghetti Factory, Outback Steakhouse, Olive Garden, Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks, Denny's, Pizza Hut, Fine Dining Podcast
3. JR Shake.jpg
Fridays 3.jpg
Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks, Mavericks Burger, Fine Dining Podcast
Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks, China Coast, Fine Dining Podcast
Denny's Grand Slam, Fine Dining Podcast
The Old Spaghetti Factory, Meatballs, Fine Dining Podcast
Buffalo Wild Wings, Fine Dining Podcast

Patreon is currently offering a 7-day free trial. Check out our monthly Patreon-exclusive episodes at no cost for a limited time!

The hilarious search for the most mediocre chain restaurant in America.


Host Michael Ornelas hits places like IHOP, Texas Roadhouse, & Buca di Beppo to find the perfect 5 out of 10 "fine" dining experience.







Outback Steakhouse, Fine Dining Podcast

Episode 1

We Found the Greatest Server in the World at Outback Steakhouse

Buffalo Wild Wings, BDubs, Fine Dining Podcast

Episode 2

Why Garrett Will Never Return to Buffalo Wild Wings

The Old Spaghetti Factory, Fine Dining Podcast, Juicy

Episode 3

The Haunting of The Old Spaghetti Factory

Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks, Fine Dining Podcast

Episode 4

Drunk Boomers, Affairs, and Break-Ups at Islands Fine Burgers & Drinks

Denny's, Fine Dining Podcast, What's Inside of the Cake

Episode 5

Denny's at 2AM is Pure Chaos

Pizza Hut

Episode 6

 The Pizza Hut You Grew Up With is Dead

Olive Garden

Episode 7

Perfectly Adequate: Our Olive Garden Musical

Bubba Gump Shirmp Company

Episode 8

"Officer Hot Dog" Pulls Michael Over at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.


Episode 9

Fantasy Birthday Brawl at Gyu-Kaku


Episode 10

The $100 Tip at Rainforest Cafe

Bob's Big Boy

Episode 11

Joel McHale Voices Our Review of Bob's Big Boy's Famous Chili Spaghetti feat. Joel McHale & Michael's Mom

Waffle House

Episode 12

Midnight Waffle House is Wild feat. Jerry Springer 


Episode 13

Michael Ruins His Alaskan King Crab at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen


Episode 14

The Chuy's Kids Menu Situation is Dogsh*t


Episode 15

Our Lowest Score Ever at GattiTown: A Tale of Two Gatti's


Episode 16

Luby's Gives Off Strong Nursing Home Vibes

Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen

Episode 17

Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen: Greasy & Fussy

Chuck E Cheese

Episode 18

We Took a Teenager to Chuck E. Cheese's feat. Chris Hansen & Emma Danger

Hooter Bowl

Episode 19

The Hooter Bowl feat. Bonnie Gordon & Noah Gray

Chevys Fresh Mex

Episode 20

CheeseGate at Chevys Fresh Mex

Tchotchke of Mediocrity


20 Restaurants: The Current Scoreboard

Cheesecake Factory

Episode 21

Analysis Paralysis at The Cheesecake Factory feat. Colin Mochrie

Lucille's Smokehouse BBQ

Episode 22

"The Cleavage Effect" at Lucille's Smokehouse Bar-B-Que


Episode 23

Literal Eternity at Benihana


Episode 24

Red Lobster: Soaked in Butter feat. Casey Adler


Episode 25

Applebee's: The Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (So Far) feat. Alan Tudyk


Episode 26

The Cinnabon Injunction feat. Jessa Day


Episode 27

We Drove to LAX to Eat Airport Planet Hollywood feat. Steve Moulton


Episode 28

Romano's Macaroni Grill's New Bread Recipe Can F Right Off


January Patreon Exclusive

Rudy's Bar-B-Que


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:

The boys track down JUB and ask him some questions | Michael sings his love for Rudy's DESPITE them only qualifying as a "fast casual" dining experience in a brand new country song | The first double dip as Michael & Garrett review both the barbecue and the breakfast tacos the following morning | Bird conspiracies | Garrett is dubbed "The Meat Market"



February Patreon Exclusive



In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael and Garrett are once again in the Bay Area to visit the last Fuddruckers in all of California | Ostrich, elk, buffalo, and Kobe beef, are all meat options here | Do we have another haunted restaurant? The upstairs is definitely spooky. | JUB acquires frog DNA! | Listen to our new segment: Yelp From Strangers, highlighting the wildest Yelp reviews from the location we went to!​


March Patreon Exclusive

Portillo's feat. Alex Borstein (Family Guy, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, & Mad TV)


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Alex Borstein obliterates Michael for his hot dog preference | Michael raps like Eminem | How Portillo's fought back against Mike Ditka | Garrett gets lost in Flavorvana | JUB drives the Beef Bus


April Patreon Exclusive

Panda Inn


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael attends a live UFC event… while at the table | Garrett feels a way about NOT getting racially profiled | The boys get shut out of the night’s birthday celebration | Find out which weirdo insists on eating the edamame skin

Latest Episode:

Season 2 Episode 1: The Melting Pot feat. Rhyan Schwartz

In this episode of "Fine" Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:

○ The Melting Pot is in the midst of a renaissance, with ambitious expansion goals

○ Michael details the changes moving into the new season

○ Learn about the history of the franchise in Eat Deets (fka Resty Fact Round-Up)

○ Guest host Rhyan Schwartz gives Michael someone to eat all the cheese that our host refuses to touch

○ Michael rebrands cheese to ch**se

○ Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV shares his wealth of knowledge to give The Melting Pot advice on their wall art

○ The Melting Pot is sending mixed signals to platonic friends

○ A battle between servers has Michael & Rhyan asking What's Going On Over There?

○ Panic sets in as the stress involved with timing your meat-cooking is Way Too Much

○ The most patriotic 5-star Yelp review ever in this week's Yelp from Strangers

○ Stay tuned to the very end...there may or may not be a post-credits scene


May Patreon Exclusive

Burbank Town Center Food Court


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael & Garrett eat one dish each from NINE different establishments | The history of mall food courts in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up | Garrett eats raw hot dogs...??? | Disaster Sushi is upon us | JUB's mad at what his new passion project has become | A hide & seek champion is going on over there


Episode 30

Medieval Times:

Knights On Strike


Episode 29

More Margarita Than Man at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville



The LA County Fair Part 1

Patreon 1-Hour Preview


Episode 31

ASMR Spooning at  Sizzler 

feat. VyVy Nguyen


Episode 32

A Suit of Pokemon Cards: Technically Meeting the Dress Code at Mastro's Ocean Club

Shakey's Pizza Fine Dining Podcast

Episode 33

Shakey's Pizza Parlor Has a Crab Problem feat. Zeus Benitez

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, Forrest's Backyard Feast, Fine Dining Podcast
Olive Garden, The Old Spaghetti Factory, Outback Steakhouse, Denny's, Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks, Fine Dining Podcast

Episode 34

All Garlic Everything at The Stinking Rose


June Patreon Exclusive

LA County Fair


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael & Garrett hit up the LA County Fair for some crazy deep-fried food and a carny atmosphere | They cover the history of the LA County Fairgrounds, which has an upsetting role as the site of a Japanese-American concentration camp during World War II and an Italian/German P.O.W. camp afterwards | The boys get their palms read | Garrett seeks out a Christian puppet show | Seductive snakes bare it all at The Shed | PIG RACING! <3 | The saga of Milk Steve the Cream Lord takes a tragic turn | Roid raging 24-Hour Fitness salespeople | A free full hour of an otherwise Patreon-exclusive episode!


Episode 35

Twin Peaks: The Revenge Breastaurant feat. Emma Danger


July Patreon Exclusive

McDonald's (Grimace's Birthday!)


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael & Garrett eat inside a McDonald's that doesn't know what it wants to be | Learn the origins of the Grimace, and even watch his first commercial | You can also watch The Hamburglar's first commercial. It's...certainly not okay | Garrett eats The Grimace's Birthday Meal three times before we record this episode | JUB can't make the Great Wall of China, but he'll make any other kind of wall | The return of the Murder Hallway | The boys scarf down their meals and it's WAY TOO MUCH | No apple pies?! | The Grimace Birthday Shake is pretty solid, and apparently changes its flavor depending on the presence of fries | An employee takes a speaker-phone call in the middle of the dining area



Septemburger Has Arrived!!


Episode 36

Red Robin feat. John Angeli

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Episode 37

Umami Burger's Rise & Fall & Slight Re-Rise

(Septemburger #1 Seed)

Episode 36

Red Robin feat. John Angeli

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Episode 38

Johnny Rockets & the Heavy

Chair Heist


August Patreon Exclusive

Burger King


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael & Garrett eat inside the Burger King Marty McFly skateboards past in the beginning of the first Back to the Future movie | Lots of talk about the King mascot and its many incarnations throughout the years | Burger King's Got Talent? | JUB will coach you for the aforementioned talent show | The Chicken Fries box is a sauce toilet | While the food doesn't cut it, the ambience hits nostalgically | These special little boys wear cardboard crowns because they're adults and they can do what they want | Garrett's manic "I'm moving apartments and over-caffeinating" energy is WAY TOO MUCH for Michael

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September Patreon Exclusive

Septemburger Semi-Finals & Finals!


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Septemburger ran for the past month on the standard podcast RSS feed, and y'all got to witness the following burger brawls: Applebee's eked past Fuddruckers, Islands Fine Burgers & Drinks trounced Bob's Big Boy, Umami Burger defeated Johnny Rockets, Outback Steakhouse clipped Red Robin's wings | Now? It's time for the big boys to play. Applebee's brings the Whisky Bacon Burger to the table to go toe to toe with Islands' Hawaiian Burger, while Outback's Bloomin' Burger tries to beat Umami's Bacon Ranch Burger. | Michael & Garrett score the semi-final matches |An update about the Boomers Gone Wild at Islands | JUB's not ready! | Applebee's vs. Islands | Outback vs. Umami | THE FINALS OF SEPTEMBURGER as the first annual winner is announced! | A very special burger-specific Headline Game to determine next month's Patreon restaurant

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Episode 39

Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery: DILF Depot

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October Patreon Exclusive

Dave's Hot Chicken feat. Michael's Mom!


In this episode of Fine Dining: The Search for the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America:


Michael accidentally deleted the entire first recording for this episode, so Michael's Mom calls in for a phone interview | Dave's is by far the fastest growing restaurant chain in America right now | Michael eats the hottest spice level of chicken Dave's has to offer live during the recording. It was a bad idea... | What's Going On Over There where there are two differently-set, color-coded thermostats on the wall | The fire extinguisher gag is an actual fire hazard | Atmosphere that feels like a Nickelodeon show | Michael's Mom borrows the rubber chicken and squeaks it around the restaurant | It's JUB, not SNUB

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Juice-son Album Art.jpg

Episode 40

TGI Fridays the 13th: Season Finale

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